


Never Not, My Love

by lostchaos



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, beomjun domestic boyfriends, idk how to tag, inspired by never not by lauv, very predictable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:55:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29406576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostchaos/pseuds/lostchaos
Summary: Beomgyu and Yeonjun had worshipped a certain song lyric from a song called Never Not, they loved it so much that they considered it as one of the pillars of their relationship. They believed in the idea of being together forever, reaching their dreams and growing old with each other. Sure, they’ve thought of how it would be like to be apart from each other, yet the image of living without their other half has never crossed their minds.Forever. There is no such thing as forever, the song lyric itself says it, “For as long as I live, and as long as I love, I will never not think about you,” and we all know that no one is capable of living forever, let alone loving forever.OrWhere in the last words that a boy heard from his significant other were lyrics from a song called Never Not.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun
Kudos: 13





	Never Not, My Love

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly have no idea what this is this came to my mind last night at 4am while i was listening to never not and now we’re here :P also this is my first ao3 fic and i suck at written fics and i'm just kinda trying ao3 out, the summary pretty much gives the whole plot away but yeah..

"Goodmorning love," Yeonjun greets Beomgyu who's lying down beside him.

Love, Beomgyu smiles. What even is love? He often finds himself wondering about this subject. Is it considered love when you feel butterflies in your stomach whenever you see that certain person? Or is it love when you willingly give them the bigger piece of the cookie without having second thoughts on it? Or is it when you start including them in your prayers at night before you sleep? Beomgyu has no idea. How does one even describe love?

He gets his answer once he turns around, facing the man who greeted him a good morning.

There it is. His definition of love. Yeonjun, Yeonjun is love.

The two are up earlier than usual today since Beomgyu had decided to celebrate with his friends two days before his actual birthday. He and Yeonjun planned on going to Jeju Island for a 4 day trip on the 13th of March. Of course, their other friends agreed.

"Goodmorning Jun, please brush your teeth!" Beomgyu jokes. The older lets out a small giggle, finding Beomgyu adorable. He then stands up to go do his morning routine in their shared bathroom.

Beomgyu’s eyes follow Yeonjun’s back until it's no longer visible. He smiles to himself, thinking about how life couldn't get any better. He’s living his best life with a stable job, a very reliable friend group, and his five year long boyfriend, Yeonjun.

The two of them were high school sweethearts, they were the most popular couple on their campus. Everyone praised and adored their relationship as their love story was indeed mainstream, yet very interesting.

They went from enemies to lovers during Yeonjun’s third year and Beomgyu’s second year. They would constantly bicker and pick on each other until they both figured out that having the other around is what keeps the both of them in place.

Beomgyu giggles at the memories that suddenly came flooding into his head, he shrugs them off and fixes the bedding before heading to the bathroom to clean himself up.

By this time, Yeonjun had already made his way to the kitchen, preparing the brunette’s favorite breakfast, pancakes.

"Is it done yet? They're taking too long, I’m hungry." Beomgyu jokingly asks, attempting to tease the older who was still waiting for the right time to flip his first pancake,

"Then try cooking instead of complaining about how long it’s taking." Yeonjun retorts in a playful tone.

Beomgyu chuckles as he knows that Yeonjun is probably rolling his eyes right now, he could already see the vision of Yeonjun’s eyeballs reaching the back of his head. "My love we both know that I can't cook for shit," Beomgyu replies, a huge smile plastered on his face.

Words can't describe how happy Yeonjun makes him.

He can't imagine himself not waking up beside a man with plump lips, messy hair, and sleepy eyes every single morning. He can't imagine himself driving alone to work every day, without someone jamming to songs on the way. He can't imagine himself doing laundry that's good for one person only, in short, he can't imagine his life without Yeonjun.

But he doesn't have to think about it, right? Yeonjun’s here now and he'll always be here. Yeonjun had promised Beomgyu that he would never leave him. He won't go anywhere anytime soon. Beomgyu doesn’t have to worry about losing him anytime soon.

* * *

"Love I’m gonna play music, okay?" Beomgyu asks Yeonjun who’s currently driving.

The pair usually take turns when driving off to somewhere as it gets really tiring, but today, the older had offered to drive since it's Beomgyu’s celebration after all.

"Sure, go ahead." Yeonjun says with a smile, not taking his eyes off the road.

Beomgyu clicks his “Rainy days with him” playlist, making sure to connect it to the car’s bluetooth system.

They're currently on their way to a small restaurant that Beomgyu himself had picked. Everyone else except for them was already there, Soobin, one of Beomgyu’s best friends, had called earlier complaining about the couple's delay.

If Beomgyu could recall it right, his exact words were, "We’ve been waiting here for twenty five minutes now, where the fuck is the celebrant?" Beomgyu and Yeonjun just laughed it off and told their friends that their arrival would be delayed for a couple of minutes considering the heavy rain that's pouring down from the sky.

Soobin then ended the call, but of course not without reminding them to keep safe and greeting Beomgyu a happy birthday in advance.

The two decided to keep listening to songs for the rest of the ride. Yeonjun’s right hand wrapped around Beomgyu’s left hand, while his other hand remained attached to the steering wheel.

Both enjoy the atmosphere they have created while tuning and singing to Never Not by Lauv that has played on shuffle.

They've always claimed this song as theirs. Everything about it just seems so familiar, the lyrics, the melody, everything. It felt like the song was made specifically for them, they listened to it way too often that they had decided to call it their 'theme song.’

The two listen to the song playing in the background, not minding if their voices were too loud that the people outside could hear them. Their voices had blended in together as they sang each and every word of the said song as if they knew it by heart. Well, they did know it by heart.

Everything was going well, the drive was going smooth, raindrops racing to fall down the car’s windows, they were hitting every single note in the song, managing to not miss a single beat. Everything was fine.

_Everything was fine._

Until Yeonjun suddenly stops singing, his hands start shaking, yet he refuses to let go of the younger’s hand.

"What’s wrong, Jun?" Beomgyu asks in a worried tone.

 _The breaks are broken, Beomgyu._ Yeonjun wants to say. He wants to say it so badly yet there was something that was stopping him, it was like his tongue wouldn’t allow him to speak such words.

So instead, Yeonjun just smiles, eyes not leaving the road as he tries to focus on driving.

"Nothing, my love. I’m sorry, let's just sing." Yeonjun’s voice said, he was clearly worried about something.

Beomgyu isn't dumb, he knows that something’s wrong, yet he chose to let if off the hook. He thinks that Yeonjun might not be comfortable with telling him about it right now, so he makes a mental note to ask him about this later.

“Later?” Beomgyu says softly, it was almost a whisper.

Yeonjun simply nods. _Later._

The brunette just obeys and continues to sing the song along with the man beside him, and because of this, he doesn't notice the car gradually gaining speed.

40 miles per hour. 42 miles per hour. 45 miles per hour. 47 miles per hour. 50 miles per hour.

They approach an intersection with at least 2-3 cars coming from all 4 different directions, Beomgyu furrows his eyebrows when he notices that Yeonjun isn't slowing down at all.

Panic slowly starts to creep up the younger boy. One look at his eyes and you could tell that he was nervous, scared even.

"Y-yeonjun! What are you doing? Slow down! H-hey, it's a red light!" Beomgyu stutters as screams, having trouble finding the right words to say. He points out the flashing red traffic light using his free hand.

Beomgyu tries to let go of the older boy’s hand but he wouldn't let him, Yeonjun’s grip just gets tighter and tighter every time Beomgyu tries to let go.

"I love you," Yeonjun says, it almost comes out as a whisper, but of course, Beomgyu still catches it.

"What? I don’t-" Beomgyu gets cut off by Yeonjun’s voice. Yeonjun’s sweet honey voice which is the first thing he hears as soon as he wakes up in the morning.

"For as long as I live, and as long as I love, I will never not think about you." Yeonjun sings, forcing a smile on his face as he averts his gaze towards Beomgyu. Beomgyu who looks confused and scared.

The fact that Beomgyu’s face is the only thing he sees makes Yeonjun beyond happy. If things were to end this way, then at least, he was with Beomgyu till his last breath.

"Yeonjun I don't understa- AH!" Once again, Beomgyu gets cut off as he talks, this time, not by Yeonjun’s voice, but instead, by his own scream caused by a loud crash which sends both of their bodies bumping against the car's interiors.

Beomgyu could barely open his eyes, he felt pain surging through his whole body but he forced himself to keep his eyes open. He wanted to talk. The only thing he wanted to do right now was to call for Yeonjun. He wanted to know if he was safe, if his love was safe. The last thing Beomgyu sees is Yeonjun’s hand, still tightly wrapped around his, and right after that, everything around him just blacks out.

* * *

"He’s awake!"

"Oh my god,"

"Taehyun, call a doctor! Beomgyu hyung’s waking up!"

"Beom, hey? can you hear me? Beom!"

Beomgyu flutters his eyes open, the light from the ceiling almost blinding him. He feels like shit. This is the worst he’s ever felt in ages, both physically and emotionally speaking.

He tries to move his body but he eventually fails due to the overwhelming amount of pain he experiences whenever he tries to shift positions. So he just lies down, staying still as his eyes roam around the space he's currently in.

The first thing he sees is his friend Hueningkai, followed by Soobin, and then Taehyun who just came back inside the room panting.

“The doctor’s coming soon, he’ll be here in a few minutes.” Said Taehyun in a small voice.

Beomgyu realizes that he's in a hospital, the last thing he remembers was Yeonjun’s hand desperately clinging onto his before his vision completely went pitch black.

Yeonjun.

Where was Yeonjun?

Once again, he scans the whole room, looking for Yeonjun, but the older man is nowhere to be found.

 _Maybe he's in a separate room._ Beomgyu thinks. _Maybe he's being treated in another room,_ He convinces himself.

But no, he has this feeling that he's lying to himself and that Yeonjun wasn’t just in a separate room.

"You’ve been asleep for two days, Hyung." he hears Hueningkai say.

He ignores Hueningkai and gathers up all of the remaining strength he has to talk.

"Where is he?" Beomgyu’s voice sounded weak, as if he was ready to break any second now, but he tried his best to keep his composure.

Everyone knows who the boy was talking about, no names needed to be mentioned in order for them to recognize that Beomgyu was looking for Yeonjun. His Yeonjun.

No one dared to talk. The whole room was drowning in silence since no one was brave enough to break the news to Beomgyu.

"Gyu," Soobin starts off, pain trailing his voice, "Do.. do you remember Duri?" Soobin starts off calm.

Of course Beomgyu remembers Duri. Duri was the pet fish that Yeonjun had given Beomgyu for their second anniversary. Originally, Beomgyu had asked for a dog, yet they weren’t experienced enough to take care of one so they decided to settle for a fish. Sadly, Duri passed away a few months after they had gotten the little thing, for reasons that both Beomgyu and Yeonjun refused to share with their group.

Beomgyu just stares at Soobin as a response, his guts not liking where this is going.

“Yeonjun hyung, he’s.. He’s with Duri now. He’s up there now..” Soobin weakly says, his voice slowly decreasing in volume as he reaches the last phrase, the phrase that Beomgyu feared the most to hear.

Beomgyu felt lost, he didn't know what to feel. He felt grief, pain, and his heart break, all at the same time. His facial expressions may not show it, but his heart felt like it was going through a paper shredder. Little by little, slowly but surely, it was being torn into tiny little pieces. Pieces that held his love for Yeonjun in them.

This couldn't be happening to him, he couldn't have possibly lost the one and only man who was keeping him at his feet, he couldn't have possibly lost his Yeonjun.

Beomgyu’s suffering, everyone in the room knows that. Yet the worst thing was there weren't any tears coming out of the brunette’s eyes, it was dry and it wasn't filled with any sort of emotion. Empty. Void. Beomgyu looked like he had lost his life.

He thinks of the last things that Yeonjun had said to him,

 _“I love you,”_ He should’ve said it back. Hell, why didn’t he say it back? If only he knew that it was going to be his last time hearing Yeonjun say those three words to him, he would’ve said it back; a thousand times, a million times even. I love you, I love you, I love you, he never got tired of reminding Yeonjun how much he loves him.

 _“For as long as I live, and as long as I love, I will never not think about you._ ” That lyric. That stupidly beautiful lyric that they’ve been holding on to for the past five years of their relationship.

Beomgyu wanted to laugh. Who would’ve thought that their favorite song lyric, which they slow dance to in their apartment’s dirty kitchen every night at 3am would be the last thing that he hears from the love of his life. This must be a sick joke.

He manages to tilt his head, and by doing so, he was able to get a full view of the table placed right next to his bed.

He sees a cake, a strawberry cheesecake to be specific.

He furrows his eyebrows, _Why would someone bring cake? There isn't anything to celebrate._ Beomgyu thinks.

Soobin notices his friend's eyes not leaving the dessert that they brought for him today. And so he gathers up all the remaining courage he has to finally remind Beomgyu what day it is; "Happy birthday, Beomgyu." Soobin says with tears streaming down his cheeks just like everyone else in the room.

_Ah, right._ Beomgyu thinks.

It’s his first birthday without the man who makes him the happiest.

It’s his first birthday without waking up to his boyfriend showering him with kisses.

It’s his first birthday without Yeonjun.

His Yeonjun.

His Yeonjun who will never not be his love.

Their love was beautiful, but it was indeed tragic, and Beomgyu knows that no other magic could ever compare to every moment they spent with each other.

**Author's Note:**

> omg this fic was me trying to work ao3 out.. ty for reaching the end xoxo


End file.
